Legalize Trans*

Trans* Love week 2012: Day 6 

The following essay is from the dashing and delightful Brian, co-founder of Legalize Trans*.

I never set out to be a trans* ally, it happened by accident. One of my friends from Equality Ride was moving to New York City and needed a place to crash while he looked for an apartment, so he stayed with me. I was living alone for the first time and secretly hoped he’d never move out. At some point he transitioned. I guess he transitioned, I don’t really think of him any other way than the way he’s always been. He started going by a different name, his voice got a little lower, his hair got a little shorter, but in my mind and memory, he’s always been the same. He’s always been my best friend.

And that’s how I became a trans* ally, because it wasn’t about a cause or an issue, it was about a person. I was annoyed at the convoluted process of changing names, I was pissed that his home state won’t change his birth certificate, I was sad when his parents (at first) didn’t use the right name or pronouns.
I want to say that I would be a trans* ally even if I didn’t have any trans* friends, but who can ever know? Is it possible to be an ally if you don’t know any of the people you’re an ally too?

I really think I have the best friends in the world. They are smart and sassy. They’re fun to go out dancing with or stay in and talk queer liberation with. They’ll sit with me and watch sappy gay movies and we’ll march in the streets together for the Trans* Day of Action.
As I’ve watched many of my friends question, analyze, and claim their gender, I’ve been prompted to think about my own. To notice the messages I’ve been taught about what it means to be a man, to look at how I express my gender. I’ve learned to become comfortable in my gender identity and expressions.
It feels weird to talk about being a “trans* ally” (which is why I try to make Asher do all the talking). I just feel like I’m being a friend. And friends take action. Friends don’t just say “I love you,” they show you. They show up. My friends do that for me. How could I do anything else for them?

I’m a trans* ally because I have countless trans* friends and co-workers and they’ve touched and impacted my life in so many powerful ways. I am the person I am today because of them. And so I’ll be an ally for as long as I’m wanted and needed.
-Brian
  1. legalizetrans posted this